What's The Worst That Could Happen?
What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me on stage?
I got asked this question last month in a Q&A I did for new speakers with Aspiring Women Speakers.
And it gave me flashbacks to when I was just getting into speaking and was so scared and nervous about it all. I was constantly thinking about all the worst things that could happen to me on stage.
Cause that’s how my mind works.
It’s in my nature to think about the worst-case scenarios, mull over them and go over all the possible outcomes and approaches.
Hoping that if I just think about it a little bit more I’ll be prepared for it. Or that if I think it all through maybe that will prevent it from happening in the first place.
It’s taken me years to realise though, that:
a) The chances of those worst things happening are actually quite low. It’s better to focus on all the good things that definitely will happen if I give a talk.
b) I’m only wasting my time thinking about hypotheticals and what-ifs and going over the various unlikely scenarios repeatedly. If I have to spend time on it, it’s better for me to think through a scenario and write up a simple reaction or action that I could take. That way, I can consider it done and handled.
c) I realised my brain is thinking about this because it’s trying to protect and prepare me. It’s a variation of the fight-or-flight response, going, “Oh no, this might harm you if you’re not prepared. Beware. Beware. Beware!” In those cases, it’s enough for me to acknowledge that part of my brain, thank it for caring for me, but then shush it and tell it to stop because I got this.
d) If unexpected things happen on stage, I know I’ll be able to deal with them. You can’t plan and prepare for every scenario, but you don’t need to. Almost every unexpected scenario response can be boiled down to: “Well, that was unexpected.” Acknowledge it, take a deep breath and continue.
The worst things that have happened to me on stage?
They were nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be.
Even though they were unexpected, they were easy and fine to deal with.
And now I have some funny anecdotes to share when people ask about it.
Nowadays, I flip it around and motivate myself by asking: "What IS the worst that could happen?". Pretty much anything that I come up with, I know I'll be fine with. Rather than worrying about it and using it as an excuse to not do something, I embrace the challenge.
"What's the worst that could happen?"
